


A Not So Innocent Question

by Poppets



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Jester has no filter, Spoilers through C2E8, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 10:39:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13856091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppets/pseuds/Poppets
Summary: Jester has a question for Fjord and it just might lead to Fjord learning some exciting new skills.





	A Not So Innocent Question

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by several people commenting that the tieflings are probably the only ones in the group who've had sex. I really couldn't get that idea out of my head!

"Fjord?"

"Yes, Jester?" Fjord said absentmindedly as he watched a dwarf and a halfling brawl in the hastily chalked ring at the other end of the tavern. 

"Would you like to have sex with me?"

Fjord really wished he hadn't taken such a large mouthful of ale as he coughed and spluttered and tried to force air back into his lungs. 

"Dude! Not cool." Beau griped as she wiped the spray of ale from the side of her face. 

Ignoring Beau's stream of complaints, Fjord twisted in his chair to face Jester. Unsurprisingly she seemed completely unfazed by Beau's sudden alcoholic baptism. 

"I'm sorry, darlin', can you repeat that. I think I misheard you."

"Would you - Fjord - like to have sex with me - Jester?" Jester spoke slowly, carefully enunciating her words, as though she thought Fjord had been suddenly struck dumb. 

Right, so it wasn't his imagination playing tricks on him. "Ahhhhh…" seemed to be about the only intelligible thing he was able to say. 

Jester just waited, smiling encouragingly. 

_Right! Pull yourself together Fjord_ , he scolded himself. _You've faced down devil toads and gnolls and manticores, yet a tiny blue tiefling with pastries stuffed in her pockets has you completely dumbfounded and unable to string two words together_. 

"While that is a lovely offer, Jester, I don’t know if it would be wise."

Jester's smile dropped, and she looked suddenly on the verge of tears. "Do you not find me pretty?"

"What? No!" He practically shouted. "I mean," he said, lowering his voice to a non-ear-splitting register, "I find you very attractive, Jester." He was relieved to see her habitual smile return. "However, it could become awkward if we had..." his eyes darted around to make sure no one was listening, "sex."

Jester looked confused. "Awkward?"

"Yes, for the, uh, team dynamic. It could throw our focus off and lead to disaster in a battle situation."

Jester stared at him, unspeaking, for so long Fjord began to worry he'd said something so horrendously stupid to elicit such an uncharacteristic silence from the tiefling. 

"Oh!" she said with sudden realisation. "Are you nervous because you're a virgin?"

Fjord was pretty sure he was doing a good impression of a fish; mouth opening and closing, but no words emerging. 

"What! Am I a...? No!" Fjord would have sworn he heard a snort of laughter from Molly, but when he glanced his way, the tiefling appeared fixated on the brawl. "Of course I'm not a, uh, virgin." He really hoped that sounded more confident than it had felt. 

"It's ok, Fjord. Don't be embarrassed. We must all start somewhere." Jester clapped her hands together excitedly. "I know! I shall teach you. Before I left home my mother taught me many useful skills."

Inexplicably Fjord managed to choke on thin air. "Your mother, the courtesan?"

Molly was openly laughing, but Fjord couldn't bring himself to care right now. 

"Yes!" Jester grasped Fjord's hands and hauled him from his seat. "Come. I have much to teach you."

End.

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued???
> 
> Let me know if you'd like to know what happens next!


End file.
